Tonight we gather, remembering Mike. We remember a very creative and talented man. A man who started out with so many dreams. He built a great wood shop. He built some incredible projects. He began to raise a family. Then life began to fall apart.

We just heard some of the most powerful words Jesus ever spoke. Words about a sheep that was lost and is found. We heard promises about a Lord who is a shepherd. We heard promises that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. These are tremendous promises. They're about eternal life. They're about hope. They're about forever.

But in the midst of this hope, there is tremendous pain and regret. Right now, there is a sharp knife piercing every heart in this room. It's one of the sharpest knives ever created by humans. It's a knife made of the two little words, 'If only.'

In the past few days, each one of you have said or thought those words. They've come to your mind, they've sprinkled your conversations, and you've felt the sharp piercing of those terrible words, 'If only.'

Those words will destroy you, if they remain your master. They will grind you to powder or depress you to the depths.

And God's Word speaks to the very center of your heart, (Romans 8:1) There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. God does NOT desire for you to be destroyed with the words 'If only.' Mike's death was not the fault of anyone here.

Mike's death was the fruit of something we can't fully understand. It was a product of an addiction and an illness. We know today these are diseases. We understand very, very little about either. We're about as helpless today with these diseases as they were in 1850 with tuberculosis. Mike's disease dealt with brain chemistry; it makes no sense; no one here could have made it better by anything you could have done. When it comes to these things, we might as well be in the dark ages. We live in a time of 'instant pain relief' and we just don't know how to handle these things that we can't cure. We expect quick answers and easy solutions. But there aren't any easy answers for addictions or the brain chemistry questions.

And Jesus weeps with you. He takes you today into his arms, and he holds you. He says to you, 'In me there is no condemnation.' 'In me you may have peace.'

Mike was so gifted. I remember the pride we all took watching the news on 'CCO- knowing that was Mike's anchor desk. I remember holidays with little kids crawling all over him. I remember the laughter and the good times at birthday parties. So much hope; so many dreams, so much joy. Then the disease kicked in.

Mike had a true and abiding faith. He gave Ken his first Bible. He started out so young and so strong in faith. He trusted in Jesus Christ; even in these past weeks of struggle, he continued to read and mark his Bible. The disease wore him down. But Jesus never left him. He was his shepherd. He had laid down his life for Mike, his sheep.

When you heard that parable, maybe you hear the story of the shepherd and the lost sheep from the perspective of the sheep. It's great news that the shepherd loves you so much that he'll come and find you, and care for you.

It's a much more powerful story when we think of it from the side of the shepherd- 'Which man among WOULD leave 99 sheep, stupid, helpless, tasty sheep all alone to wander off in the wilderness to go after the one? That makes no sense. Cut your losses! It's just one sheep- you've still got 99, and if you go to find the one, 20 more will wander off! It doesn't make any sense. But it's great if you're a lost sheep. It's great if you need to be found. It's pure, pure GRACE! Mike has that kind of Lord. A Lord who never let him go, not when he was wandering.

Why didn't God heal him? Why did this have to happen? If only... We can't answer those questions. We live in a broken world, where the brokenness of people comes out differently in each of us. We don't have any simple answers. None of this makes sense. Mike's illness didn't make sense. His slow decline didn't make sense. The pain his family felt, and their helplessness doesn't make any sense. His death makes no sense. Evil never makes sense. We weren't created to live in this kind of world. What God does makes sense; evil is always chaos, and never makes sense. And so we're left hanging, and it fills us with sadness, regret and maybe rage. And it will never make sense.

But it is to exactly that kind of broken world Jesus came and gave himself. He spread his arms wide in love, and we nailed him to a cross. He took all our sin and brokenness on himself, once for all. He loves you, and he died to prove it. He entered into the deepest brokenness of the deepest pain you have, and he meets you right there. Right where it hurts the most. That's what the cross is about. God entering into our deepest pain and brokenness.

And today, in the midst of your pain, your loss, your anger, your guilt, your shame, your frustration, your resentment, your hurt, your regret, and about 50 tons of 'If only'- Jesus meets you right there, in the middle of your hollow ache. And he reaches out those hands with the nail holes and pulls you closely to him. He feels your pain just as deeply as you do. And he cries. There's a reason why the shortest verse in the Bible are the two words, "Jesus wept." (John 11:35) That's the whole relationship between God and us. It sums it all up in two words. "Jesus wept."

In the night before Jesus would die, he gathered his disciples in the upper room, to give them his supper and to wash their feet. He was about to die the most agonizing of deaths, but his whole thought was on them. And on us. His words were simple:

(John 14:1) "Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me. 2 In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? 3 And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. 4 And you know the way where I am going."

5 Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?"

6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me.

Those words come to us this evening. In the midst of your numbness and pain, Jesus, with tear-filled eyes, looks you right in the eye and says, 'I go to prepare a place for you.' Not for the whole world. Not for humanity. For you. Just you. He goes on, 3 And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

Those are words that made all the difference for Mike. In that moment, Jesus came to him. One of my best friends, Pastor Tom Parrish published a book last year that he'd been working on for quite awhile. He had interviewed the families of many, many Christians, of many different backgrounds, as to what their loved ones experienced at death. I don't think anybody has ever looked into this or written about it. He discovered upon story after story after story of the dying person looking up, raising their hands, and describing in very clear detail Jesus coming to meet them. They could describe it! Time after time after time. Jesus said, 3 And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

In the midst of your hurt, in the midst of your pain and loss, let those words grasp you. I go to prepare a place for YOU. Those are Catholic words. Those are Lutheran words. Those words belong to all Christians. And they are words for you today. He has promised that he will never leave you nor forsake you. He keeps his Word.

On a night like tonight we think about the deep things in life. We think about our lives. Jesus said he goes to prepare a place for us. How do we make that reality ours? How do we find the way? Jesus says it's simple. Jesus says, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. Mike found it was true. His Lord kept meeting him, and staying by him, even in the darkest of times. That same Lord is calling you tonight. He's gone to prepare a place for you. He's coming back. He loves you very much.

Are you feeling like the sheep that is alone? You have a Lord who will come and find you at the greatest of costs. Just you. He comes and tenderly brushes away your tears and meets you right where you are. He meets you in the midst of questions, he meets you in the midst of 'If onlies;' He meets you even if you're angry and bitter towards him. He's focused on you. He says 'Follow me.'

As we go to a time of prayer in a minute, I invite you to follow him. I'd also like to lead us in a moment of confession and absolution. And I want you to leave tonight that Jesus loves you more than you can imagine, and he weeps with you. He will not let you go. Amen.

Rev. Roland J. Wells, Jr.

609 South Owasso Boulevard

Roseville, Minnesota 55113

612-741-2904 cell; 651-483-6323 home

rwells@chrcom.net

Sermon will be posted for download at:

www.StPaulsEvLutheran.org